Question
I Can’t Afford a Divorce, Is Financial Freedom Attainable? Help! I think I am DONE. I have been married for 13 years and have two children. I haven’t been in the workforce for many years, so he is the breadwinner.
We have a lot of history and I love my husband but this situation is never going to change or get better. I need to learn about financial independence. I can’t leave because I have no money. He controls everything.
Last week I wanted to buy new sneakers for my boys (they had holes in them) and I basically had to get approval. I am 41 and feel I have a long life ahead of me – I just don’t want to do this anymore.
What’s my next step if I want financial freedom and OUT!
Answer
Dear Anonymous Mom,
I’m not an attorney and can’t give legal advice, but I’m assuming you’ve tried talking with your husband about this and asked to go over the family’s finances. Seeing as you don’t work outside of the home, is there something you can do to earn money, perhaps part-time while the kids are in school? I’d also encourage you to put aside cash in a safe place. When you go to the grocery store, take $10 or $20 in cash back and set it aside to build a bit of a cushion for yourself. If you don’t have a bank account and credit card in your name, you can open those accounts. Depending on your relationship, you may want to use a friend’s address, or a P.O. Box.
I would also recommend two websites: End Domestic Violence – The Allstate Foundation has a financial freedom curriculum, and The Women’s Institute for Financial Freedom (www.wife.org) also has resources and information.
I would invite you to join our Second Saturday workshop, where a family law attorney, therapist, and financial planner talk about the legal, emotional, and financial implications of divorce. You’ll learn about your options if you do decide to go that route. In the meantime, we have several other workshops that may help you learn about finances, such as our Financial Foundations on April 10th. www.covingtonalsina.com/events
Regards,
Ann C. Alsina, CFP®, CPWA®
About the Author
Ann Alsina is a graduate of The Fisher School of Accounting at The University of Florida. After a 17-year career in the automotive industry advising automobile manufacturers and dealership owners, Ann made the switch to financial services with the birth of her first daughter. As a woman who has spent her career in male-dominated industries while raising children and managing a household, Ann has a passion for providing advice to other strong, successful women. She believes that our financial lives have become incredibly complex, and that everyone can benefit from professional advice, support and encouragement.
Ann currently serves on the board of trustees of Historic Annapolis. Past board service includes serving as the Chair of the Finance Council for St. Mary’s Church, Vice-President of The Annapolis Opera, and Treasurer of The Summit School. When she’s not in the office, Ann enjoys spending time with her two daughters, hiking and visiting museums.
Ann has successfully completed the FINRA sponsored Series 7, 63 and 65 exams. She is also a licensed Life and Disability agent. In addition, she holds the CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™, Certified Private Wealth Advisor™, and Chartered Life Underwriter® certifications.
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