Where Did All My Bowls Go?!

Parenting is an unmatched joy. From my earliest memories, I felt a pull, a longing, a deep yearning to be a mother. When I became pregnant with our oldest I would spend hours dreaming of the landmark moments that would form into the fond memories I would recall into old age. My imagination would fill with graduations, first loves, and shaky first steps. These fuzzy dreams were enough to fuel late-night feedings, long days with toddlers and what felt like years of sleepless nights. But then I graduated from elementary parenting and hit ‘The Teen Years’. 

You know that part in the horror film when it becomes clear which characters survive and which don’t? That moment of realization are the teen years of parenting, and spoiler alert…none of us make it out unscathed. What none of those parenting books, pediatricians, or kindly old ladies in the market tell you is to expect the unexpected. Actually, that should be the name of the book series, ‘What You Didn’t Expect While Expecting.’

I wish someone had prepared me for the HOURS I would spend searching under kids beds for my Tupperware. It’s my part-time job, 10-15 hours a week for garbage pay and my work environment is toxic. I made soup the other day only to find out I didn’t own enough bowls to feed my family. I ate my own dinner out of a red solo cup. A freaking red solo cup.  

So, as with most dreams I have shifted slightly with age and experience. Now I dream of visiting them as adults with their own children and established homes. I yearn to arrive for a planned dinner just to tell them I don’t like all the ‘bad stuff’ they cook with. I fantasize about eating all the snacks in their home and replacing the boxes as little empty decoys for later discovery. I plan to leave them with one less bowl and 4 less forks than they need for their families at any given time. Please don’t fret – I plan to leave them with an endless supply of disposable chopsticks as back up.  But, my proudest moments will be the opportunity to leave their homes littered with cups filled to various levels of abandoned drinks. A bonus if we can include various stages of decomposition. 

There is always room to expand on your dreams. I encourage you to dream big mommas, your time to shine is coming.