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Holiday, Mental Health & Wellness

When it’s Not the Most Wonderful Time: Navigating Loss During the Holidays

November 20, 2023 by Chelsea Harrison
A woman sitting next to a Christmas Tree looking disconcerted

Many people will be hanging twinkling lights, baking cookies, and checking off gift lists in the coming weeks as we usher in the holiday season. However, for those grappling with grief and loss, this time of year can be a poignant reminder of the void left by someone who has passed away. We spoke with Jennifer Ward, a Bereavement Counselor and Licensed Master Social Worker with Chesapeake Life Center, a program service of Hospice of the Chesapeake about some ways to navigate these complex emotions in the midst of this holiday season:

  • Accept the loss and honor the memory. Ward says, “People have to accept the loss, accept that the person is not physically present, but their memory lives on, so how do we incorporate some of their traditions into the new ritual of Thanksgiving or Christmas?” Maybe someone new makes a special recipe or grandma’s holiday napkins grace the table, but the important thing is not to avoid the person’s name or memory with the intention of keeping things light and “happy.” 
  • Acknowledge this holiday will be tough. Ward, who leads partner-spouse bereavement groups, says, “For families, a part of the awareness is recognizing it’s going to be a tough holiday.” Acknowledging this fact may help families avoid the pressure of trying to maintain the holiday status quo. In time, holidays may feel joyful and carefree again, but especially the first few years after a loss may feel more muted.
  • Set up your support system in advance. Acknowledging the difficult moments the holidays might bring allows for grieving family members to plan in advance for how they will handle those moments. Ward says people should think about, “What am I going to need? Do I need my sibling with me? Do I need to check in with my support group? I might need to see my counselor that day.”  
  • Try something totally new. Have you ever wanted to spend Christmas in the Caribbean? Maybe this is the year. Ward explains, “Society tells you you have to have family over and open gifts, but that might not be where people are. People might reject that, take a trip to the Caribbean, go to a Chinese restaurant, do something different, and be Ok with not doing the normal ritual.” There may be a certain freedom in rejecting what you’ve done before. 
  • Practice self-care. Ward says, “Self-care is especially important around the holidays; as it gets colder and darker, people are more likely to withdraw.” However, a key part in the grieving process is connecting with others. It is important for people experiencing loss to avoid the temptation to hunker down alone. 
  • Get moving. Research shows that physical activity, such as going to the gym, trying out a fitness class, a turkey trot, or even dancing, can be helpful for feelings of stress and sadness. 
  • Take part in a bigger mission. Volunteering or working with a charitable cause is also a great way to honor a loved one who has passed. For example, if someone passed away from cancer, families may want to do a fundraiser or walk for a cancer charity. 
People sitting around in a circle supporting one another.

What if you have kids in your life who are also experiencing grief and loss?

Ward says, “Children teach us how to grieve. They’re the only ones who can go from crying one minute to playing outside the next.” 

Kids aren’t typically big talkers, so it takes some creativity to help them express these complex feelings. Ward uses methods like sand tray therapy, using the backdrop of games or dolls to discuss the loss, and getting them connected with other kids who are experiencing a loss or grief. The bottom line is to be having fun, but also talking about the grief or the loss. 

Jennifer Ward, a Bereavement Counselor and Licensed Master Social Worker with Chesapeake Life Center.

If you are experiencing grief this holiday season, know you are not alone. Reach out to your support system and consider attending a support group near you. Here are several offerings from the Chesapeake Life Center, a program of Hospice of the Chesapeake:

Living with Loss through the Holidays*

Thursday, December 7, 2023

5:30 to 7:30 PM 

John & Cathy Belcher Campus

90 Ritchie Highway, Pasadena, Maryland

The cost is $10 per person.

Kids ages 6-18 may also attend for a specialized kids’ workshop with holiday activities.

Loss of Partner Support Group (monthly)

Tuesday December 12, 2023 (Morning Session)*

10:30 AM-12:00 PM

Via Zoom

Wednesday, December 13, 2023 (Evening Session)*

6:30-8:00 PM

John & Cathy Belcher Campus

90 Ritchie Highway, Pasadena, Maryland

The cost is $10 per person. 

*Registration is required for all groups and can be completed by calling 1-888-501-7077 or emailing griefinfo@chesapeakelifecenter.org

Drop-In Grief Support Group

Wednesday, December 13, 2023  

1:00-2:00 PM

John & Cathy Belcher Campus

90 Ritchie Highway, Pasadena, Maryland

There is no fee and no registration is required.


Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on Annapolis Moms Media and its affiliates are those of the authors and/or experts and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Annapolis Moms Media. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors is of their opinion and is not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual, or anyone or anything. 

The published article is available for informational purposes only and is not considered licensed professional advice on any subject matter. By viewing articles/blog posts, the reader understands there is no client relationship between the reader, the publisher, and its authors. The article/blog should not be used as a substitute for professional advice from a licensed professional, and readers are urged to consult their own counsel on any specific questions concerning a specific situation.

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Category: Holiday, Mental Health & WellnessTag: Christmas, grief, Holidays, loss, Mental Health, Support See all posts by Chelsea Harrison

About Chelsea Harrison

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This holiday season, were spreading joy with a $100 gift card to your favorite local small business in Anne Arundel County - YOUR CHOICE! 🎁 Lets celebrate the spirit of giving and support our community together! 🛍️

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2️⃣ Comment below tagging your favorite local small business you’d love to support!
✨ Bonus entry: Share this post in your stories and tag us!

Giveaway closes on 12/10 at 8 am, and the lucky winner will be announced at 12 pm. Embrace the joy of the season, support local, and lets make this holiday special! 🙌🎄 

#HolidayShopping #SupportLocal #ShopSmall #AnnapolisMoms #CommunityLove #GiveawayAlert #SupportSmallBusiness #giveaway #shopsmallmaryland #marylandsmallbusiness @hereapopupshop @arundelbiz @annearundelchamber @shopwhimsicality @seadogpetboutique @lilacbijoux

⭐️GIVEAWAY POST⭐️
This holiday season, we're spreading joy with a $100 gift card to your favorite local small business in Anne Arundel County - YOUR CHOICE! 🎁 Let's celebrate the spirit of giving and support our community together! 🛍️

Here's how to enter:
1️⃣ Follow us on Insta @Annapolis_Moms
2️⃣ Comment below tagging your favorite local small business you’d love to support!
✨ Bonus entry: Share this post in your stories and tag us!

Giveaway closes on 12/10 at 8 am, and the lucky winner will be announced at 12 pm. Embrace the joy of the season, support local, and let's make this holiday special! 🙌🎄

#HolidayShopping #SupportLocal #ShopSmall #AnnapolisMoms #CommunityLove #GiveawayAlert #SupportSmallBusiness #giveaway #shopsmallmaryland #marylandsmallbusiness @hereapopupshop @arundelbiz @annearundelchamber @shopwhimsicality @seadogpetboutique @lilacbijoux
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Hi everyone!!! please make sure that you are following the directions and following us on Instagram, and tagging the stores there to enter to win ❤️

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I can’t pick just one favorite local biz! 😭 Black Market Bakers The Blue Heron Boutique

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Love Cezanne Jewelers, Annabeths on Maryland Ave, Black Market Bakers, Dream Baby Decor and so many more!

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@followers Annapolis Moms is super exited to announce a new collaboration with Rams Head On Stage for a series of family friendly concerts this year! We are starting with SQRRL, Doug Segree's family friendly band on December 23rd! There's a Kiddie Mosh Pit/ dance area and children 2 and under are free. Grab your friends because tickets are Very limited! Read more about it here and buy tickets here! www.ramsheadonstage.com/events/detail/508321
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Doug Segree is an Annapolis-based singer-songwriter who’s been at it for more than 30 years. About seven years ago, he began writing what he r
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