My whole adult life, I have said these words: “I’m a lot,” “I’m not for everyone,” or the ever-popular, “If you want me, you get the good with the bad.” In high school, we had this fun graduation tradition where a small group of seniors wrote a funny prediction of where the graduating class would be in five years. Mine said, “Lisa was harnessed to light a small city.”
The thing is, I have always had a lot of energy with a big dose of ADHD. I’m an extrovert through and through, and I’m a pleaser. I want everyone around me to be OK all of the time, which is simply impossible. I’m a social worker by education and trade, so I am always looking through the lens of connecting people so everyone wins.
But the truth is that it is impossible for everyone to win and be happy all the time. Through the years, I have tried to make myself smaller so that others feel bigger. I have given credit where it wasn’t due, asked for forgiveness when it wasn’t warranted, and the ever-present apology for “being too much.”
Last week, I had some profound conversations with several people, and I realized that I am nowhere near alone in feeling insecure about how I am received and my own lack of self-acceptance. Many people feel the need to present themselves differently than how they naturally feel. Of course, this can be appropriate to some degree, such as respecting people’s feelings or comfort levels; however, it is important to have a healthy dose of self-acceptance. Masking who you are all of the time to accommodate everyone around you lends itself to damaging your self-esteem and losing your identity.
So here’s to self-acceptance! In the wise words of Mr. Rogers, “You’ve made this day a special day by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.”
Weekday Breakfast Casserole for the Win