Summer is finally here! For many, this might mean more time to sleep in, enjoy the outdoors, and take a break from the rigid schedules of the fall. The days ahead are likely to be filled with sunscreen, ice cream, beach and pool time, backyard cookouts, sleepovers, s’mores, and fluid bedtimes. Vacations are planned and summer camps have been scheduled.
While many of us may relate to these hallmarks of summer, one thing is certain – no two families’ summers will be the same. As we ease into the summer months, it is important for us to understand our expectations. It is also important for us to resist the urge to compare our summer itinerary to those of our neighbors, friends, and co-workers. Putting too much pressure on creating the Summer Of Our Dreams is a surefire way to end up with a summer of disappointment. Here are a few tips to set you and your family up for a summer to remember.
Give Time to Acclimate
Kids are used to routine and quite frankly, many of them thrive on it. While an endless stretch of summer days with infinite possibilities and no schedule to follow might sound intoxicatingly delightful, it can often lead to feelings of overwhelm, boredom, and anxiety. All the sudden, the excited cries of I can do whatever I want turn into whining laments of there is nothing to do.
Some families might find that their children become moody, irritable, or anxious as the endless freedoms of summer stretch on. Some families might notice issues with unsavory behaviors emerging, spiking, or re-emerging. And still, others might find that their children enjoy the peaceful ease of an unscheduled summer. The point is, most families will find that both the children and the parents need time to acclimate to the new routines, or lack thereof, that the summer season brings. Give each other time to settle in. Even if a rigid schedule is not something your family wishes to design or adhere to, some sort of schedule might be more beneficial than endless freedom as the days drag on.
Manage Expectations
Having a plan is great! But so is knowing how to deviate from the plan without it feeling like a failure. Setting expectations that are realistic and reasonable will help avoid disappointment. For example, if your family has a goal of continuing education throughout the summer, and the goal is to complete one activity a day, read one book a week, or go on two educational field trips per month, ask yourself if these are reasonable and realistic for your family’s schedule. Ask yourself how you will feel if you fall short of these goals. Will you be able to adjust? If the kids end up doing three learning activities a week, go on one educational trip a month, and read a few pages a week, is that a failure? Or have they still done something of value?
Assessing family finances, and time commitments will also be something to look into when it comes to planning summer events and schedules. Planning an epic, dream vacation might be a wonderful fantasy, but if finances won’t allow it, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment and it might be better to look at fun staycation options or cheaper travel alternatives.
Lose The Desire to Compare
Children and adults often fall victim to the negative effects that come with comparison. Your neighbors back yard parties might seem like the coolest event on the block, and the photos of your best friend’s vacation on Instagram might have you aching with envy, but it is important to remember that you are viewing these events from the surface level. One issue with social media is that we don’t get to see the saving, planning, scheduling challenges or difficulties that lead to these picture-perfect moments captured on camera. Your summer might look different than theirs, but their experiences, opportunities, and activities don’t have to invalidate your own. Find ways (no matter how small) to enjoy the life that you have rather than spending precious time and energy focusing on the experiences of others.
Take Time for You
Summer can quickly turn from endless possibilities for leisure, into a non-stop need for chaos control. The stress and logistics of managing long summer days can weigh on parents and caregivers. Be sure to make time for yourself, too. Go for a walk, stargaze after the kids go to bed, schedule a facial or massage, or step out onto the deck for a phone call with a friend. Take a break from making the magic happen for everyone else and give yourself some much-deserved attention.
By Jillian Amodio, MSW, Contributor, Mental Health
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