I’ve had a mother for 52 years, I’ve been a mother for 19 years, and I’ve been running Annapolis Moms with 18,500 moms for 12 years. The only consistent experience I can promise you that everyone has on Mother’s Day is that it’s almost always the best day and the worst day at the same time! I’m not discounting the .5 % of you moms who have the “Best Mother’s Day Ever” kind of day (yes, I’m a little jealous), I’m talking about the other 99.5% of us! So, I’m here to share the top 10 experiences as reported by thousands of you throughout the years. Why am I sharing this? Because we are still a few days away from Mother’s Day and there is still an opportunity to change your expectations or, at the very least, put it in perspective. Also, it helps to know you are not alone and can feel connected to the 18,500 other moms! So, here we are, the 10 most common experiences you have shared through the years on Mother’s Day!
1. No one planned anything for you, and you didn’t plan anything for yourself, so you spent the day angry, and your partner spent the day scared while running around like crazy trying to pretend something was actually planned for you.
2. You said you didn’t want a fuss for Mother’s Day, but now you are mad that no one made a fuss for you for Mother’s Day.
3. You spent the day with your mother or mother-in-law and then you feel that you didn’t get your own Mother’s Day celebration, so now you want a re-do Mother’s Day.
4. You planned your whole Mother’s Day and then got angry or disappointed that you “had” to plan your whole Mother’s Day.
5. Your children are young, so aside from the cute cards they made, it didn’t really feel that different from every other day.
6. Awesome plans were actually made to go out to a great meal, but you wound up yelling your family out the door with teens who keep getting threatened by your husband that they better not ruin your “Special Day”.
7. You are a single mom so – well you are a rock star! Your kids did their best, but it wasn’t like all of those .5% of perfect Facebook photos you are seeing.
8. You didn’t grow up enjoying Mother’s Day, so you don’t really celebrate it. When you share this with your friends you encounter this awkward silence followed by, “Really? And you’re ok with that?”
9. You lost your mom, so you are missing her while you are also doing your best to enjoy your Mother’s Day activities.
10. You are used to spending Mother’s Day with your extended family, but you don’t live near them, so it feels very quiet and lonely no matter what you have planned for the day.
So, here’s the thing, Mother’s Day isn’t the Super Bowl. It isn’t Christmas. It isn’t even your Birthday. It’s supposed to be the celebration of Motherhood, but the fact is that the celebration reflects reality. Mothering can be hard, imperfect, infuriating, frustrating, disappointing, and sometimes sad. AND, it can also be amazing, joy-filled, rewarding and make you feel so special and loved. And most days, we feel all of those things throughout the day. So, this year, make a pledge! Pledge to view your Mother’s Day for what it is – it’s the best effort of your family who are doing their best to function without your direction for one whole day! So, kick back and let the chips fall where they may and know that you have thousands of other moms in Annapolis cheering you on in Mother’s Day Solidarity!
by Lisa Peri, MSW, Publisher
