The holiday season is here, and with it comes expectations: gifts to buy, decorations to hang, treats to make, cards to send, parties to plan… the list goes on.
While these expectations can lead to a holiday season full of joy, laughter, and memories, they can also lead to unnecessary comparisons. While comparison might lead to inspiration, more often it leads to feelings of sadness, jealousy, or inadequacy.
If comparison hurts so much, then why do we do it? Social comparison is usually done subconsciously and without intention. It is human nature to take notice of the people, things, and occurrences around you. That acknowledgment has a tendency to then spill over into comparison. How do our things compare to theirs? How do the events and occurrences in my life measure up to theirs?
This type of social comparison, especially around the holidays, causes an increase in stress hormones like cortisol and can impact mood and demeanor, quickly robbing you of holiday joy and making you question… am I doing enough?
While comparison is a natural human occurrence, it is important to put things back into perspective. The holidays are not about the size of your tree, the number of presents you give, or the number of parties you attend. The holidays are about slowing down and taking time to regain focus on what truly matters in your life. They are a time to focus on bringing kindness and charity (charity doesn’t always mean money) back into our hearts. They are a time to connect with friends, family, and community.
If you find yourself comparing your holidays to others, or questioning whether you are creating enough holiday magic for your kids, widen the lens you are viewing your experience from and refocus on what values you would like to bring to this holiday season.
More presents don’t mean more love. Lack of extended family around your table doesn’t mean less worth. And if your house isn’t the most elaborately decorated house on the street, it doesn’t make you the Grinch! Focus on what you do have. Focus on who you have to share it with. And focus on meaningful ways to bring joy, love, and comfort into your life in ways that mean the most to you.
The greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and others are love, compassion, acceptance, and gratitude. Don’t let comparison take these away.
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