Back-to-School Routines

How to Help Kids Transition Smoothly

It feels like summer has just started, and yet here we are just days away from the start of a new school year. This time of year tends to bring about a mix of emotions. There’s excitement over new clothes, fresh supplies, and seeing friends again—but also anxiety about schedules, finances, and the chaos of “back to school.” And maybe even a sigh of relief from weary parents who’ve run out of ways to entertain kids with boundless energy.

The laissez-faire, more permissive tendencies of summer will soon give way to the structured routines of the fall. While freedom has its benefits, so does routine. Children (and adults) thrive on it! Routine helps build confidence and maintain a sense of safety and security. Children (whether they will admit it or not) benefit in a variety of ways from having a schedule that is predictable and familiar. It can reduce stress and anxiety, and help enhance independence and self-worth. A routine also gives children a sense of control, especially when they are given developmentally appropriate tasks and expectations. Routines create an environment that will cultivate emotional, physical, and mental wellness. But where do we begin? 

Start Now 

It is helpful to start looking at reintroducing routine now, especially if summer has been a bit of a free for all. Reining in bedtimes that might have gone rogue, and building in bedtime routines that allow the mind and body to gently ease into a state of rest will help make the transition to ‘school nights’ less abrupt. The same goes for mornings.  

• If needed, start shifting bedtimes and/or wake-up times by 20-30 minutes to get back on track. 
• Incorporate calming activities at the end of the day to unwind. Things like reading to your child (even pre-teens love a good book being read to them), meditation, coloring, painting, or restorative baths (ie. candles, bubbles, bath salts).  
• Create visual aids for younger kids or kids who need help with executive functioning to help bedtime and morning routines go more smoothly. Print out a checklist or a schedule with pictures of what activity happens in what order.

Involve the Kids  

Involve children in back-to-school activities. Children love to have a sense of control and to be able to express their input. There are very few things kids have control over in their lives and the more opportunities we give them to take the lead, the more likely they are to care about the task at hand and gain confidence, independence, and self-esteem in the process. 

• Have them help do their back-to-school shopping and include them in any budgeting talks. Make it a challenge to find the best deals.  
• Have them create their own weekday morning and/or school lunch menu so they can take part in choosing what they would like to eat.  
• As you ease into the school year, create a calendar together to help keep track of school work and extracurriculars. They can design one with a program like Canva and customize the design, theme, and layout.  

Start a Conversation 

Kids are likely aware that summer is quickly coming to an end. But they might not be as aware of how they are feeling about it. Encourage conversations about their thoughts and feelings about the start of another school year. Are they excited? Nervous? Stressed? Indifferent? What are they looking forward to? What are they not looking forward to? Do they have any goals in mind or any new experiences they would like to have? These conversations can happen anywhere: in the car, around the dinner table, over ice cream, etc. If this is a particularly big year for your child (such as kindergarten, sixth grade, ninth grade, senior year, etc.) ask them how they feel about this milestone and consider sharing stories or pictures of your own from that time of your life.  

Create New Traditions 

Often we find ourselves getting stuck in the negatives. The new school year means early bedtimes, early mornings, rushed breakfasts, homework, and busy schedules. But it also means more opportunities to create relationships, explore interests, and engage in self-discovery. Busy schedules can mean less time for family, and the stressful aspects of the school year can create tension. Consider building new traditions to help reconnect as a family throughout each week and bring moments of joy and things to look forward to. I am sure many of us with younger kids are familiar with the excitement of the prize box. Every Friday, my elementary schooler loves to turn in their “seagull feathers” to purchase something from the prize box. How can you emulate that same excitement as a family? This can be anything that speaks to you and your children but some examples might include: 

• Friday pizza night 
• Weekly after-school ice cream dates 
• Kids get to play DJ and have full control of the radio on the car rides to and from school  
• Playing Uno or some other game over dinner one night a week 
• Monday morning donuts 
• Other weekly/monthly treats 

Any time of transition can be a challenge. But with a little planning and a positive spin, we can make them a little easier to navigate. If you or your children are having a particularly difficult time leading up to the start of the new school year, consider reaching out to guidance counselors, school psychologists, or other mental health professionals for advice and support.