A 29-Year Foster Parent Shares Her Experience
Foster families provide a stable and loving environment to children who await reunification with their own families (the ultimate goal), placement with relatives, or adoption. Fostering not only benefits the fostered youth, there are also many benefits to the foster families.
“They’re “changing the trajectory of a child’s life,” says Tracy Madera, recruitment and retention specialist with the Anne Arundel County Department of Social Services. Anne Arundel County is always in need of more foster parents!
Thanks to foster parents like Debra Williams (65), almost 40 children have been safely placed in her temporary care and then successfully reunited with their families. If you’ve ever thought about fostering, consider Debra’s advice:
Annapolis Moms Media (AMM): How long have you been a foster parent for Anne Arundel County?
Debra Williams (DW): About 29 years.
AM: What made you want to be a foster parent?
DW: That’s so easy for me to tell you…my mother, who’s still living (she’s 93), always had somebody’s kids over and my mom had eight kids herself. I knew I didn’t want eight kids, but I always liked having children in the house. I said, ‘That’s the kind of house I wanna have.’ I have two biological children as well. My daughters are now 29 and 45.
AM: Do you feel like fostering children had any benefits or presented any challenges for your biological children?
DW: Oh, both! By the time I started getting foster children, the good thing was that my older child had had all my love and affection…from her dad too. She was very secure in her environment because she knew she was loved. And my youngest…she grew up with them. So, she learned to adapt. Some of them are her ‘sisters’ even now.
AM: Are you fostering right now?
DW: I have three children…a two-year-old, a four-year-old and a 12-year-old.
AM: What does an average day look like?
DW: Well, I still work so we get up. The 12-year-old goes to school and the younger ones go to daycare. I pick the kids up from daycare and I pick up the oldest from school. They play; I’ll start cooking. The oldest has homework. Between 6 and 7:30 p.m. we do baths because they’re usually in bed by 8:30 PM…the two little ones, not the older one. She just got an increase.
AM: What advice would you give to people who are interested in fostering but hesitant to do so?
DW: When you take this on, it can’t be for the money. You have to want to do this because these kids are counting on you to be that stable force in their life. So, if I go on a vacation, I make sure my [foster] kids go on a vacation. I make sure we do day trips. I don’t deny them anything that I would do for my own children. You just have to make them part of your family. And not every child is gonna be a good fit for you. There are a lot of excellent kids and all they want to do is be loved…have a hug, a kiss, a kind word. So many simple things that our regular kids probably take for granted…having a meal, having a say in the meal…you know, as long as it’s pizza.
If you’re interested in learning more about how you and your family could start benefiting from fostering, Anne Arundel Foster Care hosts monthly informational meetings.
For more information you can contact Tracy Madera, LCSW-C at (410) 303-0459 or at tracy.bowen@maryland.gov.
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