Finding Love in your 40’s?

QUESTION:

Has anyone actually found love in their 40s?

I’ve been by myself as a single parent with two kids for many years. I am so used to doing it alone. It’s like I’ve been sleepwalking between the kids and my business. I don’t need a guy to take care of us; I’m doing great financially.

A few weeks ago I had one of those heart-stopping encounters where you meet someone that you feel you’ve always known, and now I sit here and remember what it was like not to be alone, to have that connection. I had actually forgotten.

Everyone is married with kids (like that guy, obviously). It’s crushing to even consider looking. I mean, where?

ANSWERS:

Susan Trombetti, Matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking

Yes, of course, people find love in their 40s. As a matchmaker, I can tell you it happens all the time. I see this frustration and situation a lot. The time commitment to finding someone seems so daunting because it burns you out dating on apps.

I will just say your relationship with yourself has fallen into a rut. I would tell you this person you ran into that jolted you is a good thing. That’s great! You can have that again. You were always interested, but had way too many priorities in life to put your focus there. Just treat this like a wake-up call and priority. Life is passing you by, and you need to do something for yourself! 

When it comes to where to find it:

• Expand your social circle and become part of at least one new one. Stop rinsing  and repeating with the same friends and make some new ones. They have friends with single guy friends. 
• Kick up your dating attire a notch and go out looking sexy. I love slip dresses. It beats the Mom uniforms. 
• Go to big events such as the Preakness and spend money to be in the nicer clubhouse seats. Go to events around town and plan them out for the year. There is the Annapolis Baygrass festival, the [Polar Bear] plunge event, Bands in the Sand, and these are just a few. Some will be a bust, but get out of your comfort zone and meet people. 
• Hire a matchmaker or an online dating coach. You are worth it. January is the perfect time to meet someone. The first Sunday of the month is the superbowl of online dating. Don’t miss that day. 
• Go to gallery openings, charitable events, or whatever speaks to you but break up your routine and put yourself out there. 

Christina Meighen, LCPC 

We are hard-wired for connection. Our very basic instinct as humans is to seek and maintain connection. All those feels that you got in your heart-stopping moment…I wonder if that was your body and heart’s way of saying you are looking for something more. 

You are doing a knockout job with your family and your business, but you are craving something more. Listen to your body. Connecting with another person is possible at any age, just be authentic and true to yourself and you will attract the same. 

There are lots of ways to connect with other singles; do it in a way that seems right to you. Engage in a hobby, do a retreat, online dating (though that can be a bit of a sh*t show), there are matchmakers, too! My advice: invest in yourself and the rest will unfold how it is supposed to. 

Love is possible at any age!

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