I feel like I was one of the last people to see the Barbie movie. I had already heard every funny line from the whole film from my 17-year-old daughter and social media. I expected the music to be great and for the film to be funny.
What I wasn’t prepared for were my tears when America Ferrera’s character, Gloria, delivered her lines about how women and moms truly can’t win.
As school has started again and we all try to juggle new school schedules, new sports schedules, new teachers, new friends, school anxiety, bus problems, the beginning of school illnesses, and lack of adequate childcare, I felt the lines of her monologue heart-wrenching and reaffirming that I’m not a failure as a mother and a woman… I’m not a failure when we have been set up for failure.
Here’s the entire monologue from Barbie (2023):
“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we’re always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.
You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So, find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.
You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.”
As women, I wish we gave each other more grace. I wish we supported each other in any way we can. The truth is, we can’t do this alone, and we shouldn’t HAVE to do it alone.
I felt truly seen by this film, and it was awe-inspiring. Hearing words being openly spoken that there is no winning was eye-opening. We go from being told as children that we have to have it all—to being grown women, believing we are failures if we can’t do it all and make it look flawless in execution.
So, mamas, hug yourself, give yourselves a pat on the back, and buy yourself a trophy. We deserve it all as we wake up every day and try again, being fabulous because we have the energy and love to light a small city!
Author: Lisa Peri, MSW
Founder & Chief Enthusiast Lisa Peri has dedicated her life and career to both the parenting field and has been integral in many business ventures in sales and media. She earned a bachelor’s degree in Sociology from Clark University and a Master of Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania. Lisa is also a proud mother of two wonderful children and is married to Jeff Peri.
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